Something happened with my housemate today and I didnt understand why it bothered me so much until, a few hours later, I realised what my lesson was, and immediately felt the need to write this blog!

I will say a few things that may seem totally random and unrelated, but they all came together to help me make the realisation that inspired this blog, and it is about loving yourself. 

1) In the last few months I have been getting into raw veganism (for those who dont know, its a lifestyle where you eat mostly uncooked food, because cooking destroys much of its enzymes, vitamins etc). The results are incredible, though I still find it a little bit hard to do sometimes, especially when eating out. 90% of the time I am happy and positive, but in those rare cases that Im not, I, like most people probably, go and eat a cupcake and say to myself "I deserve it". 

2) Someone at work today said "one of these days I will take you to my favourite creperie to treat ourselves". I didnt pay much attention to it them besides thinking "oh no how do I tell her Im trying to give up sugar". This too played a role and it was said to me to form a sturdier image in my mind.

3) Now about my housemate. I havent seen her for 4 months so wasnt used to her presence. We were making dinner - she was upset and said she was going on a strike by combining all sorts of junk food together. In the meantime, I was making a raw sandwich, very lovingly, half listening to her and half trying to protect my food from her negative emotions (water, and therefore food, which is mostly water, is very sensitive to peoples emotions and thoughts!!). 
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This is what I made, nothing special, just a sandwich.

My housemate looks at it and says "WHY do  you make something so pretty, just for yourself?"

I didnt quite get the question, I said something about that being the most important thing - that its for YOU. This led to a conversation about loving yourself and she proceeded to saying things that were quite shocking to me, its been so long since Ive started learning how to love myself (perhaps I'll tell you about it one day, it changed my life) and surrounded myself with similar people, that I felt very uncomfortable that she was arguing AGAINST me. I asked her, "so in YOUR life, do you not think YOU'RE the most important person in it?" - she said she isnt... and I could see this wasnt going anywhere, I excused myself and went to my room but couldnt get that conversation out of my mind.

After some time, its like something switched in my brain and put all those situations together. My conclusions were:

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1) We shouldnt see healthy food/raw food/vegetarian food as troublesome, we shouldnt go and "treat" ourselves with cookies...it is because we LOVE ourselves (our bodies, the healty state of being that we get from healthy foods etc) that we eat it. Healthy foods ARE the treat to our bodies, were just not used to seeing it that way. 

My housemate went on a strike and scoffed down lord knows how much junk because she was upset. Did it make her feel better? I very much doubt that. And yes I'll admit that those cupcakes didnt make my day any better either, just made my teeth hurt from sugar and my stomach bloated... So, conclusion: when were feeling low, that is especially when we should be eating the healthiest, not the other way round!! Good food will bring up the body's energy levels and give you a boost of vitamin-love!

This may not seem like a huge realisation, but to me it really is, its like I began to perceive food in a totally different way.

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2) If someone isnt ready to hear what youre trying to say, no matter how good your intentions, dont force it on them, let them be, for their time will eventually come. 

3) I had an aura-soma reading (where you pick certain colours and it tells you something about yourself at that particular time in life) about a month ago, and the most important thing that came of that, is that at this moment in time, my number one priority should be to love myself - very cool that synchronisities keep pointing me towards that! Theres always room for advancement.

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4) You should always go with what your gut feeling tells you, if youre uncomfortable in a situation (like I was at dinner), its ok to walk away and do something that you do enjoy. Its ok to tell your colleague that you dont want to eat crepes with her...because you deserve to be healthy and shouldnt have to feel uncomfortable with other people who dont understand you. 

I really felt the need to write this today, and now that Ive done it, the funny feeling has gone away and I am finally at peace. I am now going to sleep. Yes its just after 10pm, but you know what - my body deserves as much sleep as it needs :) and since Ive been raw, Ive been waking up at 6am naturally and enjoying my morning meditations, making  my days a whole lot happier :)

Much love and light, may your days, weeks and years be filled with as much sun...as you think you deserve ;)    

Elina
4/24/2012 07:07:26 am

A smile for you :) I enjoyed your sharing, thank you Anya

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Anya
4/25/2012 05:52:49 pm

Thanks hun, glad you liked it :)

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4/25/2012 05:33:09 am

What beautiful realisations from a situations which was very challenging for you at first. Can you see how everybody who enters our lives are a gift to give us a mirror reflection of ourselves. The other is you. Your friend (house mate) has given you a profound gift and opportunity for growth of your conscious awareness. You have articulately expressed yourself transparently. This too is wonderful to see.

Of course you know my passion is transparent communication so to see this in action and having met you truly inspires me. I love when I see the principles working in day to day life.

What would be amazing now if you haven't already is to say thank you to your friend for giving you the ability to see yourself on a deeper level. When we are challenged we get the most growth. When we are embarking on new ways of being we always get challenged to test us, fears emerge and these fears are not to block us or stop us but to guide and challenge us to go through them. The fears are our friend.

At times when we know something is good for us we instantly want everybody (the whole world) to benefit too because we are naturally sharing creatures and want to make the world a better place. The practice I find to remember is that action speaks louder than words. Acceptance of another and of yourself is always the hardest practice to nurture. Calmly expressing your reasons to the person who is intrigued always brings the best results.

A note to always embody is, "You have nothing to prove in love" you are magnificent and how you love yourself is totally your unique way as you are the most amazing being there is. There is no other like you. This in itself is humbling. Loving the body, the vessel with which you walk this planet is the best practice and most powerful of all. Everybody including myself in the beginning finds it hard to list the things we love about ourselves. Its always easier to put ourselves and others down.

The most successful & happy people in the world have taught themselves to compliment and see the great things they are and do and this always outweighs the self doubt and sabotage.

Thank you for sharing your insights and never dim your light, there are enough dim lights on the planet and right now the universe is calling for lights to be switched on and loving yourself and everything you are is the most potent way of emanating your full wattage.

How we do anything is how we do everything
One love
Simon

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Anya
4/25/2012 05:59:36 pm

Thank you Simon, what a wonderful and thoughtful comment!

I am eternally grateful to you, as it was your workshop that has started a big snowball of love in my life :) met like-minded people who made me more comfortable with who I am and helped me grow. Keep doing what youre doing, youre such an inspiration!

When I first had the realisation, the first thing I did was mentally thank my housemate, I dont think Im brave enough to thank her personally, she might not take it the right way...

Love and light

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Elena
4/25/2012 11:29:08 pm

Lovely Anya!! I am soo proud of you!! You are growing fast. I knew that you will find the right choice in this situation with possitive approach and no anger. It is an art of comunication, also control of your senses which is so difficult at times but you made it!! Good girl. I love the comments of Simon, I could sign any word he said.
Well done!! Lots of LOVE my sweetyxxx

Reply
Anya
4/27/2012 04:17:04 am

Thank you!!! <3 Love you!! xxxxx

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