I will say a few things that may seem totally random and unrelated, but they all came together to help me make the realisation that inspired this blog, and it is about loving yourself.
1) In the last few months I have been getting into raw veganism (for those who dont know, its a lifestyle where you eat mostly uncooked food, because cooking destroys much of its enzymes, vitamins etc). The results are incredible, though I still find it a little bit hard to do sometimes, especially when eating out. 90% of the time I am happy and positive, but in those rare cases that Im not, I, like most people probably, go and eat a cupcake and say to myself "I deserve it".
2) Someone at work today said "one of these days I will take you to my favourite creperie to treat ourselves". I didnt pay much attention to it them besides thinking "oh no how do I tell her Im trying to give up sugar". This too played a role and it was said to me to form a sturdier image in my mind.
3) Now about my housemate. I havent seen her for 4 months so wasnt used to her presence. We were making dinner - she was upset and said she was going on a strike by combining all sorts of junk food together. In the meantime, I was making a raw sandwich, very lovingly, half listening to her and half trying to protect my food from her negative emotions (water, and therefore food, which is mostly water, is very sensitive to peoples emotions and thoughts!!).
My housemate looks at it and says "WHY do you make something so pretty, just for yourself?"
I didnt quite get the question, I said something about that being the most important thing - that its for YOU. This led to a conversation about loving yourself and she proceeded to saying things that were quite shocking to me, its been so long since Ive started learning how to love myself (perhaps I'll tell you about it one day, it changed my life) and surrounded myself with similar people, that I felt very uncomfortable that she was arguing AGAINST me. I asked her, "so in YOUR life, do you not think YOU'RE the most important person in it?" - she said she isnt... and I could see this wasnt going anywhere, I excused myself and went to my room but couldnt get that conversation out of my mind.
After some time, its like something switched in my brain and put all those situations together. My conclusions were:
My housemate went on a strike and scoffed down lord knows how much junk because she was upset. Did it make her feel better? I very much doubt that. And yes I'll admit that those cupcakes didnt make my day any better either, just made my teeth hurt from sugar and my stomach bloated... So, conclusion: when were feeling low, that is especially when we should be eating the healthiest, not the other way round!! Good food will bring up the body's energy levels and give you a boost of vitamin-love!
This may not seem like a huge realisation, but to me it really is, its like I began to perceive food in a totally different way.
2) If someone isnt ready to hear what youre trying to say, no matter how good your intentions, dont force it on them, let them be, for their time will eventually come.
3) I had an aura-soma reading (where you pick certain colours and it tells you something about yourself at that particular time in life) about a month ago, and the most important thing that came of that, is that at this moment in time, my number one priority should be to love myself - very cool that synchronisities keep pointing me towards that! Theres always room for advancement.
I really felt the need to write this today, and now that Ive done it, the funny feeling has gone away and I am finally at peace. I am now going to sleep. Yes its just after 10pm, but you know what - my body deserves as much sleep as it needs :) and since Ive been raw, Ive been waking up at 6am naturally and enjoying my morning meditations, making my days a whole lot happier :)
Much love and light, may your days, weeks and years be filled with as much sun...as you think you deserve ;)